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Be something

Winter is a very bad season to start a blog, because days are short and it gets dark soon. I fall in depression during the winter. I need sunshine and warm air to keep me fluid. But the positive side of winter is that you get to sit quietly in your home, drink coffee and smoke and think. Thinking.. I spend 99% of my time thinking about something, sometimes I think about silly, stupid things, but most of the time I think about life, meanings, emotions. I'm always anxious thinking I'm not living my life to the fullest. (yes that is a line fromEternalsunshine of the spotless mind but it corresponds with my thoughts) I always think that I could be something more, something better, and if I don't do anything productive all day I fell like I have no purpose. I'm a very deep and very emotional person and I feel that some of my thoughts need to be shared, cuz I know there are many people in the world just like me. There's nothing wrong with my life, actually it's amazing but I always feel like there could be more. When I sit and think about so much things that there are, waiting to be discovered and experienced, my heart jumps, it starts to beat really fast and I close myself from the outside world. Andy Warhol said that the best thing in life is keeping busy, and that is one of the most amazing lines I've ever read. When he opened up The Factory and work, he would sleep max 5 hours a week, and honestly look at the work he made. I know many people who hate pop art but that's not the point in this story. (I will write about art in the next post) Point is that if you can do something, go out and do it. And if you can't, go anyway. You may be surprised how much you can actually achieve. If you started doing something two weeks ago, you'd be, by now, two weeks better at it. That's why I need to do more. Work more, be more. Because there is more from life that just survive. My point of today's post is that no matter what, be something. Do something that your tomorrow self will be proud of, something that will keep your heart pumping in your neck, something that makes you jump out of bed in the morning. Don't spend your life trying to be more, just be more. Don't restrict yourself to your home town, or your country, or the people around you. The ancient Egyptians embalmed their deceased loved ones. You know what organ they'd never take out? Heart. Because they believed we think with our heart. I believe that brain is most powerful tool, but if something makes your heart jump, go for it. 

This post is not about fashion, but I hope you don't mind. I wanna thank Marija, she's my something, not explainable, but very meaningful. These are the photos from yesterday evening. It's a night experiment and I hope you will like it. Love S.

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Dylan Thomas1914 - 1953

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