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The road less traveled

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Recently I've read this amazing book from Morgan Scott Peck, who was an American psychiatrist. Last summer I've read book from Lou Marinoff called Plato, not Prozac and it pretty much changed my life. Then I got to start thinking about how little time I actually have since all my life is focused on college and reading books that are only in my required literature. I got to the conclusion that there are so many great books in the world, really many of them, and I started to fear I will not have the time to read them all.. Imagine the situation in possible universe where one book is ment for you, and it changes your life in every way better possible. Imagine that you never come across that book and it never really changes your life. Sure is that you wouldn't know that you missed it, but that possibility is making me read more and more. The desire to get to know all those amazing people, and situations and possibilities that a book can open for you. My thirst for it will never stop. This fact got me thinking about another problem that we come across on our daily basics. Why are we so affectionate to things? Everyday things that we own and that are meaningful to us? The answer is simple. Things don't leave. Recently I had an situation in wich I felt abandoned and alone, and as I was walking to college I was very upset and my first tought was this: ''Marinoff will never leave me, or Hume, or Locke, they will always be inside pages, and every time I feel bad about anything I can always come to them and they will help me with some amazing advice. They will always be inside books, and my books will never leave me.'' People leave, that's why we get to attached to things and often called a material generation. But getting attached to things like books is something you can actually use, and not be damaged by that connection. When I started to read ''The road less traveled'' I was kind of skeptic about it, because I'm a philosopher, (not in real sense of words but close) not a psychologist and their methods kind of don't correspond with the way I see things but I've decided to give it a shot that turned out to be really worth 3 days of reading. Peck believes that love is the mover of everything and trough his book, he reveals methods for you to find out what kind of person you are, what kind of love is love that you are into right now, faults made by people who mistake terms like being in love or being obsessed with someone aside from really loving someone. In the beginning he talks about four values you have to practice to become wise person and most of all, to help you deal with pain. First few sentences in the book goes like this: ''Life is hard. This is the big truth. One of the greatest. This is the big truth, because once we look at this truth, we overcome it. When we really realize that life is hard- when we once really realize and accept that, -it stops being hard. Once we accept the fact that life is hard, that fact becomes irrelevant to us.'' That few lines were so amazing that I read them over again a few times. But really that is the big truth. In your life you come across some very difficult situations, something that happens to you and you get really sad or it annoys you that the situation happened, but that is life. When something bad happens you can't undo it because it already happened. All you can do is find a way to deal with situation. For example, Sometimes I fail an exam, the reasons are irrelevant, and I get really upset because I knew I could do better and it annoys me that I failed so I get really nervous, start to shake and yell around the house. My energy at that time is bad and honestly wasted. It took me two years to figure out the fact that, when something bad happens, it happened, sometimes it is my fault, sometimes is not. Spending your energy on yelling and screaming and being mad about the situation will give me no good, it will only downgrade me. So I started with a new method. When something bad happens I accept it, and as Peck said: ''It no longer has power ower me.'' The energy I get from accepting things I can't change is the energy to deal with that things, not stick my head into box of sand to avoid problem. That bad energy that fills your being up can be used in more productive way. Before, when I failed an exam, my method was to come home, get really upset, mostly cry and blame everyone else for being too demanding, or screamed about college material that was too extensive and that is no human way possible that one can learn all that stuff. Now when I fail I see that as an oportunity to study more. My bad energy starts to transform in productive energy, and instead of feeling terrible about it, I take my material and study more. That is the way to practice discipline. (one of Peck's methods) Discipline is very important in life, and I wise man called Pythagoras said: “No one is free who has not obtained the empire of himself. No man is free who cannot command himself.” If you can't tell yourself ''I will do that today'' and do it, you are a lazy person, like I used to be, but as I started to practice discipline on myself, everything changed. When I have to do something I say to myself ''Why not?'' and then I go and do it. If you have problems on taking commends from yourself try this method that is called, ''delaying the pleasure''. For example, I know I have to study for at least six hours to pass trough exam, and I want to go out that day. Going out is a pleasure, and studying is something I must do. Before, I first went out and relaxed and tought that going out will get me energy to sit at home and study. But now I know for a fact that it is better to do what you must do and then treat yourself with going out or having a bubble bath, irrelevant. Delaying pleasure is first in methods of practicing discipline. Second one is resolving problems and time. About resolving problems I will not say much because we all know that problems are one thing you can't escape from. Well you can for a while, but they will come back and bite you down your ass (if you would excuse me). One thing is having problems you can't effect on. They are the types of problems that are out of your control, and the best thing you can do (in my opinion) is to move away from them and let them resolve by themselves. The problems that are your problems, are things you must learn to deal with. Just like lies. You can lie for a long time, but the truth is powerful and it will always be revealed. Problems will get even bigger if you don't go out and front them, they will anchor in your conscience  and you will get more and more anxious and depressed. Dealing with problems takes time, and time is an amazing thing. Often we blame others for the way we spend our time, because sometimes we give our time for people who are actually a waste of time. Last year I had an situation in wich it felt obligated to spend time with one person other than study. I felt like it was my purpose to sit and drink coffee and talk with that person about their problems wich stopped me from isolating myself and devoting my time to studying. The result of that was that I failed few subjects, and felt overpowered by their problems. As time went on and I started to think about that situation I got really upset. I blamed that person for the time I've spent with them that resulted with bad consequences. But the truth is, no one here is to blame but myself. The time I spend is my time, just my time and no body elses. Realizing that I've come to a conclusion that I can't be mad about that time or person I've spent time with. Everything you do you do for yourself, and time you have is your time, and only responsible person for the way you spend your time is yourself. To practice discipline you must learn how to organise your time. You must have priorities. If someone is eager to talk to you and you must study or you'll fail, it is up to you to decide between studying and not talking to (for example) a friend in a bad family situation, or you can talk to your friend and go on the next deadline of exam. Whatever you decide it is your decision, your time and only responsible person for you spending your time like you do is yourself. Taking responsibility is one of the most difficult abilities to adopt, but when you start taking responsibility for yourself and everything you do, you will feel free, because you will know that you can comprehend with everything that comes your way.  
Things I wrote about in my post are methods from the book from my headline. They are only a surface of an amazing journey from this amazing man who sadly died in 2005. I introduced you with this book and it's methods because I believe, truly believe that if you open your perspective and read this with an open mind, you will find some ways that can benefit for you, so I will say no more about it, proposal for you is that you read it.  Imagine a universe in wich this book is the book that will change your life. :)
Since it was my first really round birthday (20) on sunday, I didn't get a chance to write earlier. Few weeks ago I was back home in Vinkovci because it was my mom's bithday and we went shopping, spending quality time :) Stuff I'm wearing are mostly gifts from my mom and some of them I bought in Osijek in Portanova. My mom is a really amazing person and the things she does are magic. I have to write soon about family relationships. It's almost spring, and Rijeka is warm and sunny and it is the perfect time for awakening from your winter hibernation. Bracelets I'm wearing were a gift from my mom, and backpack is a gift from my aunt. Skirt I'm wearing is like 6 years old but I love it because it's Mexx and it has great quality. Shirt with leather sleeves was love at first sight just like hat, both of them bought in H&M. The white coat from the pictures is from Stradivarius just like lovely rond glasses, they had amazing abadements on winter clothes. A little monochrome but black really is the most powerful colour, I promise I will lighten up my combination as soon as degrees start to rise. Untill next time. Love, S.























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