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''It's important to write while it's still fresh. Yesterday I found
out that my boyfriend, cats and I have to move from our apartment
because our landlord's son got into college here at Rijeka, and it's
rational decision for them that he lives here in our place. I must say,
that kinda broke me because our apartment is pretty amazing, new and
cozy, but I guess something else was ''ment for us''. We moved to this
apartment a year and few days from now after living in awful place in
which we froze during the winter, and expenses on water and heat were
above normal. When we found this apartment I felt blessed, like it was a
gift from above. I started to interpret it as good coming back my
way for all god I did during my year. I love change, because change
means new challenges, and if it doesn't challenge you it doesn't change
you. I think I got a bit to spoiled and started to love this
place too much, that's why it was so hard for me to hear we have to move
out. But that is a life of tenants. My boyfriend is always the sane and strong
side of our relationship and he always finds a way to cheer me up. Even thought I became more emotionally stable
during these last couple of months I wasn't ready for this. All
evening yesterday I felt like I'm gonna break down because I know how
had it is to find an average apartment in Rijeka, especially at this time
of year when the college is almost starting and new generations are
moving here, looking for apartments just like us. That miserable feeling
didn't pass untill this moment. I don't believe that everything happens
for a reason, I believe that things are the way they are because you
let them be, and that you are always in control, even when stuff
happen to you and are not caused by you. For a brief moments of shock
most people forget what they believe in and what they give power to, so
they break down, and so did I. I lied down and tought about my life,
tought about how lucky I actually am. Most of the girls my age still
live with their parents or somewhere with their friends because not many
parents allow their 20-year-old daughters to live with their
boyfriends, but my parents do. Flashback to my life at highschool, all
the drama, pain, lost and everything felt so far away now that I know I
will never step back to it. Gratefulness is something to start each day
with.. Gratefulness for this life, in this amazing city that flows,
with my boyfriend after all bullshit we went through, for our adorable
cats we adopted from the shelter and gave them home and love, for my
parents that are best people in the world, for my best friend that
completes my circle of self, for all my family, warm weather that came
back, trees, birds, flowers, coffee, moon.. Gratefulness for an
opportunity to find a new place that will maybe be even better than this
one, that this occasion brought me and my boyfriend back together, that
as I lied down in our bed and thought realized that this is our time.
Change. It is inevitable, but why resist it. Change isn't always a bad
one, sometimes change means that there are another something
out there that you should do, try, be,go.. I don't believe something
better is ment for us, because that is fatalism and I'm not a fatalist,
but there is something, and it's up for me to go and choose between
options. Make my life as I want it to be, take control, always bless and
never feel sorry for anything, because life is too short to resist
something you can only accept. When you accept things that happen to
you, that you can't change, you are in control, and then, from that accepted situation, you can
maximise your options and make your best move. Everything changes so
it's important to accept that change so it can become your friend and
not your rival. Love always, S.''
I wrote this post 2 weeks from now, and from
then untill now have been probably one of the most turbulent 2 weeks of
my life. So much has changed in every aspect of my life, and it has
become difficult for me to keep up with all the events.. I didn't write
on my blog for very long time, didn't find time for photosessions, some
really sad and terrible things have happened, and some pretty amazing
ones to. I've learned in this 2 weeks, well to be honest this whole year,
the amazing fact that you HAVE TO enjoy every single minute of your
life, be in love with every single moment, pay attention to every human
being that's important to you and appreciate everything good that you
are given because you can never know when can that good thing be taken
away from you.. Always look on the bright side, and believe, believe
that even tought times can sometimes be rough and sad and dark, it can't
rain all the time.. I apologize soooo much for my long absence and not
posting anything for a long time. Now when everything has settled down
for a bit I will have time to process all my photos from photosessions
and adventures. I love you people all so much, and I can't wait for
tomorrow to post my story from these last 2 weeks, but now I have to
make a delicious dinner and hit the beach with my boyfriend. Shine on
forever, S.
