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Winter is all over you

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When we think about life, one of the things that's related to the term of life is purpose. What is the purpose of my existence? Why am I here and is there something I have to accomplish in my worldly life? Many religions have answers to these type of questions, but if you're not so religious, as myself, those answers will be unsatisfying. It's in our human nature to constantly seek for something, to wait for something, and whatever good comes our way, we still don't find meaning of our existence. While I was younger, I felt invited to change the world into a better place, and constantly had that burden on my shoulders like I owe something to the world. I thought that was my purpose. The truth is, as you're getting older, the more you're involved in the world and it's bullshit, so than you slowly start to realize that in a world like it is today, hardly can one person make any significant change. People are infected with viruses such as evilness, jealousy, sadness, spitefulness and those are the people who have enough resources to live moderately abundant life. And what about millions and millions of hungry, sick people who fight every day to see another tomorrow? Who will help them? I still feel the pressure and pain in my chest when I even think about it, because it really bothers and hurts me how much general injustice there is. No one will come and save us. All we can do is be good to each other, help each other and try to heal ourselves from these viruses that, whether we like to admit it or not, rule us as a society.. But let's return to our main subject. Thousands of people in various disciplines like theology, religion, philosophy, for a thousands of years, have tried to find universal answer to question ''What is the purpose of our existence?'' This question relates terms like meaning and life goal. When we hear those words, something inside of us shivers, and when someone asks us about our purpose, we can't give them a proper answer because we still haven't found one. If we live in a state of anxiety that we have to know answer to everything, or particularly to this precise question, we'll seek it among other people, in books, religious dogmas, or we'll accept so-called ''universal answer'' To cut your search, you won't find it there. Often we hear a question ''Which path is the true, right path in one's life? Answers to this question also go from: live a moderately life, start a family, have money and a good career, to other extremes like: never get attached to anything, just live and be. As you can see, again, no universal answer. Why isn't there one particular true goal in our life, one right path and universal purpose of every man's life? It's meaningless to discuss this when the answer is plain and simple. Universal and objective, concerning this topic don't exist. There ae 6 billion people on this planet and every one of us is different to another. Everyone has their own believes, commitments, what they stand for, what they wanna become, where and in what they find their meaning. There is no need for us to categorize and put objective labels on something that can only be answered subjectively. Once I read: ''Give meaning to everything your do, so the meanings will lead you to your purpose.'' People don't enjoy anything they do, even the things they love. Maybe it's because we live in a hurry to something, rush, we never stop to smell the roses. That's why we don't find meaning in the things we do. That's why our lives are empty. Few days ago I caught myself living without a purpose or a goal. I realized that in that moment, there was nothing that existed as my big last life goal. I as I am, love to plan and make stuff happen, so I always set myself hard challenges to accomplish. There is no better  feeling for me than to overcome my old self in things I thought I couldn't do and grow from it, so everything I did led to a particular cause that simply got lost somewhere and left a big blank space. I used to have existential crisis, so I would feel lost when I had no purpose, goal or meaning in my life. But this time I felt free. I felt the massive blankness that exudes with warmth and calm joy. This time I felt something different. When I started to think a bit about it I realized one thing. No matter how good it may feel to know what you wanna become and what you wanna accomplish as final, a.k.a. to know your purpose and goal, that will always partly limit you. When you thrive to something, when you work hard and even then end up standing in the same place you were, or ever step a few steps back, you'll feel disappointed in yourself because you didn't accomplish what you set for yourself. You don't need to be disappointed, life sometimes gets hard, you just have to keep going. For me, this is a new feeling, because now, I am, for the first time, a wanderer in the world of undiscovered possibilities, unrestrained by accomplishing something particular. Don't get me wrong, this doesn't mean I won't work hard and make come true everything I set myself to do, it just means that I don't know where it would lead me, because I haven't decided where and to what I wanna go in this moment, except to self-improvement. I don't know what I'll do when I graduate, I don't know what to specifically graduate, I don't even now what I wanna do in the end, but this makes my hear beat faster, not being certain for the first time. The beginning of wandering. Th world is an invitation to me. This is my path now, and it's the right one, just like all of you have your own path, and it's the right one because it's your own. On our paths we'll come across all kind of things, obstacles, crossroads, sometimes we'll step back, but we have to move forward. The important thing is to find meaning in every little thing we do, in no other place, but inside ourselves. Let's do what we love, what makes us happy and what makes our soul dance inside our body, but never hurt others on our journey. So maybe, just maybe, this will lead us into finding our purpose, but for now, there's an open road. Sea of love, S.








 One happy person :)








  Photography by this jellyfish: Marija JanĨec


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